Hope I'm not too late?! Spring: Just as everything had felt bleak and hopeless, I awoke that morning with the sun softly kissing my cheek, The bids sang in unison, as if eager to reassure me better was to come, Playful pastel daffodil heads had burst through the soil, cheerful and with an aura of hope I admired. The clouds evaporated revealing graciously still blue hues, a gentle tepid breeze surrounded the air with a fresh fertile scent. Dainty spring green buds started appearing at the birch trees fingertips, preparing for their marvelous reveal. Just as everything had felt bleak and hopeless, I laid my head that evening with the promise of a new day. Lifeguard: As he sits in his chair and we laugh, i study the lines that spread from the corners of his eyes, fixating as the creases deepen, I ponder how many lines over these years I've helped create. I silently scream unspoken words at him, as if I am an empty vessel, trapped within my own body, eager and desperate words to speak that will never make it past these sealed lips. For I know, I know now, time is faster than I, and it seems to accelerate once truthful bitter words are spoken. So I simply soak it in, these moments. I study his face, the way the corners lift as he recalls our past. I embrace these moments, storing them away within my mind, for fear I'll need them sooner than my heart is ready for. He raises his glass to his mouth, consuming the golden liquid. The devils broth. Yet somehow it consumes him. Ebbing and flowing internally, drowning him from within. I've tried to be his life guard, how I've tried and tried. Dragged him onto my lifeboat, for him to leap off. All I can do now is watch on, for I am no life guard and he does not want to be saved. Growth: They say that I'm damaged, My Past wounds need to heal, They say that I'm broken, Tell me how I should feel. They think they know who I am, Try to tarnish my name, From snippets of me, When I'm reacting to pain. I wont apologise for my past, I dont need to pretend, I refuse to let it win, I greet it as an old friend. They say pain is a re-birth, Fresh seeds I have planted, I'll develop and grow, In the soil they took for granted. As we sat by the river on that windy Tuesday, Struggling to keep feathered pests at bay, We perched and we paused, embracing the still, Needed by us both, some time to refill. No exciting plans, and not the best weather, But I know it's a day I'll remember forever. It's strange how the days that are just like the rest, Can somehow transform into one of your best. My eyes camera lenses, my own private collection, Capturing your face and all its perfection. I value all and any, that you share of your time I'm grateful that of all of the mothers, you're mine., By the river: As we sat by the river on that windy Tuesday, Laughing as wild winds snatched your scarf away, On cloudy days, that scene I'll replay, I hope you know how special that it was, today.