Hi Mark, I am back. Yes I would like to be a beta reader

Thanks this video is really informative

I will be in Thailand at a wedding, I am turning everything off. It is a good idea, please post the stream so I can watch it.

I hope your new year was blessed and opens up a positive year ahead

Gallagher that was my reaction and I relaxed as read on.

I just read ‘wild grapes’ it is an amazing journey of a poem. I not good at rating poems. I will read wild grapes again as it fits with my theme of writing about spirituality

Rupi Kaur 4th book is of writing exercises for self healing. This is the problem with not editing, after the first flourish you need to examine your writing to push it beyond your initial limits. Janice Greenwood gave a good book review of her work and displayed some thought constructive editing of Rupi Kaur poems, but I don’t think there was any dialogue between them

Hi I am late adding my twopence to this thread. The problem for poetry is the only general statement is ‘you can never say never’. Yes songs can be poems. The reason behind thinking they weren’t poems was because the rhythmic work was done by the music. I listen to a podcast on writing songs ( I will need to look up my YouTube history to find the link) there are three approaches to writing lyrics, focusing on poetics was only 1 method. If you wanted to create a unique guitar ‘lick’ you started with the music. Any set text is going to be a problem as not all poems in any era are accessible or enjoyable to everybody. The other problem for school courses is not everybody wants to understand ‘theories of literary devices’. You should be able to join a class of appreciation rather than having to analyse the texts. I want to say more about conventionalism but this comment will become to rambling. Hoping you return to this thread. What you have raised is important

Yes it is great quote. The ‘bl’ sounds at the end of the first line sound like a herald ushering in the story. I will try and read the whole poem

Don’t give up, just focus on writing what makes you laugh. Even if it is a rough draft. Let that draft sit for sometime. Reread it and see if it makes you laugh still or do you need to tweak it. Or just emerge yourself in something that makes you happy. Your muse willl find you again, if you keep seeing the light side of living

I have conceded for this year. I lost my devises and lost the small momentum I had. Enjoyed reading and following other people’s journey. This needs me to allocate more time than I did. Also, given postage costs in Australia (to and from) electronic chapbooks are more viable. But I would need to do a small print run so I could deposit a copy in NSW State Library. I will still keep working on the skills in the poetry cove forum threads

We have colder weather than June, but means Summer won’t be complete torture. This is a busy playground.

This would have made Shakespeare, as I read him, proud; I read his plays as ‘wanting a better world than what exists’.

The title is a recognition that actual history ‘is minds in chaos’: but it didn’t have to be so we could make it different.

Is juxtaposing ‘plaited threads of emotion’ with ‘ribbons of interconnection’ enough to create a connection between them?

Possible History faith, soul’s mental state beyond ideas of this and that connecting fleeting feeling sustaining social belonging my kernel of our humanity plaited threads of emotion ribbons of interconnection family, friends, fellows unite inspiring story, song, dance so bright generating communal creativity

You have nailed it. I feel this is complete. I think you don’t need the ‘and’ in the second last stanza;

I think your right, this poem is finished. don’t naturally rhyme either. My development has been how to create audience expectation, and rhythm without rhyming. Herbs comments on assonance and consonance is interesting for this purpose.

Thank you i will work on your comments. The base story is I went to an evening with a Korean Buddhist monk a few weeks ago.. The night was conversation style discussion, so a few people had posed questions to him and he was demonstrating how a Buddhist would think these problems through. One person who asked questions couldn’t accept that the monks role was to work people’s attitudes to deal with factual problems. He wanted the room to be used to create a movement against the social disruption of AI. AIwould cause mass unemployment etc etc. Writing this too you has made me realise that the first have of the poem isn’t really connected to second half.. the first half links to other poems and wants to look at the interface between faith as a personal experience to being how communities are bound together. The second half is ‘when difficulties mean people ‘lose their religion’. The problem is I have travelled from general to specific and it loses meaning. I agree with what ypu are saying syllables, some is how I’m saying some are real errors.

Would appreciate a comment on whether this works’ I am trying to capture both individual experience and social comment. Is this a happy mix? The other. point I am unsure of is whether the turn from describing positive group affiliation to economic downturns should happen at the first 10 syllable line?