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As I’m not a member, I have to post poems here

in Poetry Discussion

Greetings one and all,

As I’m not a member, the only way I can share my poetry is here. Please feel free to comment, dissect, give thoughts, etc. I can’t afford to join the Poetry Cove officially, so this is my next best option. Also, please feel free to share any poems you’d like thoughts on.

4 comments

Comments (4)

Mark Keller

22h

•

Here is what I call a linked Lune. I have taken the last line of the first lune as the beginning line of the second, and it worked. Adam posted a short on Youtube about the Lune, and i just experimented with it to see what could be done. This is my first attempt at both a Lune and my rendition of it.

Claims of Common Sense

We find ourselves here

in moments

we don’t understand

how it is

things happen so fast

insofar

as particulars

resonate

inspiring others

advocate

certain ideals

as harbored

secrets that might be

something new,

discovered,

or found to be lost

among things

we take for granted,

given we’re

gullible creatures

who don’t have

proper coping skills,

by instinct,

but possess some skills

learned early,

whether that’s in vogue,

has bearing,

is applicable,

or might find

there are instances

where sense claims

ownership of all

Mark Keller

•

A Prophet’s View

A lumiere traverses velvet—

sky a-shimmer in magic molt,

a fabrication cemented in a pastiche

of petrified porcupines, perhaps,

but not without Anglified spirits.

It’s forgotten us, or we it, as has been

the carte-blanche of our assignations.

Whatever the soul-bending hoopla,

there never was a more splendiferous

meme in which to regard the orb.

Ghost of a Goddess

Replying to

To be perfectly honest, I'm having a really hard time understanding this poem. I had to look up a handful of the words you used to understand anything.

What I think it's about is a prophet's vision of God? If I understand this right, the first stanza is describing an image of a light that's frozen in the act of sending out beams. Then the second stanza says that we and the light have left each other and then concludes with saying it's splendorous.

I like the image that you paint in the first stanza. Once I got past the language, your poem actually grew on me a lot. Before then, though, it took me eight Google searches to even understand the words, and I still don't really understand the second stanza. It seems that you are trying to make some point(s) in the second stanza, both in the first and second sentences, though I think you could make them a lot clearer so it could be understood more easily.

Mark Keller

•

Replying to

Thank you for these wonderful thoughts! If you found the poem “growing on you,” then I’ve accomplished my objective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is MUSIC TO MY EARS, AND I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please feel free to post any poem or poems you wish some thoughts on. I’d be honored to offer some thoughts!