Welcome to the PoCoChapMo ‘24 Feedback Corner!
This thread is dedicated to gaining constructive feedback and workshopping your poems. Whether you're looking for a fresh perspective, suggestions for improvement, or simply want to share your work, this is the place for you.
How to Use the Feedback Corner
Sharing Your Work:
Post Your Poem: Share the poem you’d like feedback on. Be sure to include any specific areas where you’re seeking advice (e.g., structure, imagery, tone).
Context: If helpful, provide a brief context or background for your poem. This can include the prompt you used or your inspiration.
Be Respectful: Remember that sharing poetry can be a vulnerable experience. Offer support and encouragement alongside your critique.
Giving Feedback:
Be Constructive: Focus on providing helpful and specific feedback. Highlight what works well in the poem and suggest areas for improvement.
Be Respectful: Always approach feedback with kindness and respect. Remember, the goal is to help each other grow as poets.
Be Specific: Offer detailed observations and suggestions. For example, instead of saying “I didn’t like this part,” try “I think the imagery here could be stronger by adding more sensory details.”
Workshop Guidelines
Workshopping Poems:
Detailed Reviews: If you’d like a more in-depth critique, mention this when you post your poem. Fellow poets can then take the time to provide a thorough review.
Revisions: Feel free to post revised versions of your poems based on the feedback you receive. This can help track your progress and show how your work evolves.
Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask specific questions about your poem or the feedback you receive. Clarifying questions can lead to more insightful critiques.
Example Post
Poem: Whispers of the Night
In the stillness, shadows dance,
Whispers weave a silent trance.
Moonlight casts a silver hue,
Dreams awaken, pure and true.
Context: This poem was inspired by a word prompt about “night.” I’m particularly looking for feedback on the imagery and flow.
Feedback Given:
Positive: “I love the imagery in the first line; it sets a mysterious tone.”
Constructive: “The second line feels a bit vague. Maybe adding a more specific detail about the shadows could enhance the image.”
Engage and Support
This Feedback Corner is not just about receiving feedback but also about giving it. Take the time to read and respond to others’ poems. Your insights can be incredibly valuable and help foster a sense of community.
We’re here to grow together as poets. Let’s make the most of this space by supporting each other with thoughtful and constructive feedback. Happy writing and sharing!
Day 30 I struggled like Genevieve so I decided on satire ... Some sort of mangled elegy
The end is nigh! So hear my plight—oh friend!
Joy we shared, and pain, and grammar's bite.
Alas, all good things must come to an end.
But I write my p-cove chapbook tonight!
Day 30
Prompt: Write an elegy to the month...
Context: For whatever reason, I just could not get this one done - I tried, many times, and get slightly hung up on a different lament of a poem, and I know I don't HAVE to write something, but I wanted to, and since I hadn't done one yet, I wrote a Tanka to say goodbye to the month. Which my brain only let me do after I had given up for the evening... so it goes.
Poem:
We whisper goodbye,
To not wake those resting here,
Deep in their dreams, as
Calendar pages likes leaves
Fall from the tree on this night.
Day 28 prompt: Prompt: Write an ode to something from your past, or any past.
Context: I wanted to celebrate what usually isn’t considered a worthy subject for an ode. The moments in between the big moments, to the unimportant objects that make life a little bit easier but we don't get attached to. An ode to the people in the background who allow us to spend time with the people we love in the foreground, to everything that just exists without trying to be noticed
Ode to Things Left Untold
To the silence between words,
the soft spaces where meaning lingers,
to the breath you never notice
but carries you from thought to thought.
I sing for the forgotten hours
that never made the photos—
those quiet pauses between the laughter
where lives still happened,
where hearts still beat.
To the button barely hanging on,
the chipped cup at the back of the cupboard
that still cradles the warmth of tea,
to the broom that sweeps the dust away
without ever asking for thanks—
I celebrate you,
the unremarkable,
the unnoticed.
To the hands that fold the napkins,
the arms that set the table
so we can sit and speak our lives aloud,
to the voice that hums a song
while dishes clatter in the sink,
filling the house with music
only the walls remember.
For every object passed by,
for the pencils worn down to stubs,
for the doormat that bears our weight,
for the faded note left on the fridge,
for all the things that hold us
without ever holding our gaze—
I lift my voice to you.
And to the faces in the background,
the ones who wait while we linger,
the quiet presence behind the curtain
that makes the lights burn bright—
you are the steady rhythm
that lets us dance,
the stillness that gives shape
to all that matters.
For everything that exists without notice,
for the pieces of life
that never demand the spotlight,
I offer this song.
You are the unsung verses
in a poem that could not be written
without you.
Day 30 prompt: Write an elegy to September Context: I did try to twist it into celebration at the end but it sounded forced and didn't flow the way I wanted so maybe read the last part in a happy voice? HOW is this the end already??
Elegy to September
The golden days of summer fade to grey,
As shadows lengthen, creeping through the trees.
The warmth of August, now so far away,
Gives way to whispers on a cooler breeze.
The leaves, once bright, now tumble to the ground,
Their colors dulled by autumn’s quiet hand.
The air grows crisp, and silence wraps around,
A prelude to the frost that claims the land.
The sun sinks lower, slower in the sky,
Its fading light a memory of fire.
And though the world prepares to say goodbye,
September lingers, filled with soft desire.
With every shiver, every falling leaf,
The echoes of the summer still remain.
But in the chill, there stirs a quiet grief—
The winter waits beyond this fleeting strain.
Day 26
Prompt: Write an Elegy to the month.
Context: I tried the ABAB rhyme that Herb mentioned should be used, but I am not good at rhyming, it just doesn't come to me easily at all. So I have the feeling that part didn't work out, but I tried to make this reflect the month of PoCOChapMo. On a side note, I don't know how I ended up with only 26 days, where did the 4 days go?????
Starting in infancy with fear of the words not yet taught, of steps on feet never used in this world thrust upon me.
Hands guided me as my first steps were taken, words spoken with encouragement and gentle corrections given by transparent souls.
Stanzas of infinite possibility in a new world I now see, letting me move as the comfort of trying comes to me.
Haiku glide from my fingers with sonnets and tanka near, as words come with elegance and the confidence of steps I trust taught from this short life cycle.
Day 25
Prompt: Write a blank verse poem about how to use such a power to effect a transformation. This could be any transformation... in yourself, nature, society, mankind.
Context: I watched a video about Blank Verse poems and tried to create in the form explained. I do like the way I can totally ramble without stopping, but I do hope I got that rambling part right.
Title: Good with Evil
With the touch of unknown cursed blessings, humans rise like the dead of the future to come as they crawl across the land, scourge upon the forests of the gods untouched to view their use in the task of building the world into a good that will overcome the beasts that dwell upon the claimed world ungiven but owned by rights of the good for all who are worthy, decided with eyes glazed with the lust of power over all seen before them, power granted in acts of cruel, power granted for claims of good in a world yet to be tamed.
Through the claims of good, evil comes with its fist of steel, wood, and stone as man tortures the world to break its will, its body into one that suits their for the purpose of good, as though the world has no use but to give its body over to be raped by the mines of progress and the butches by the cleavers hungry to feed the never ceasing jaws of civilization, screaming with howling winds of pain, struggling with mighty waves crash against rigs of steel, quaking with the rolling torment of a body trying to extinguish the flames of progress, as the human disease persists in its acts of good.
Quiet rings through the world's empty peace as the axes of past rang for centuries with their mutilating blows no more swung in these lands now scatted with the bleached bones of disease no more, as scorched grounds green with new life's scabs grow new flesh of a world now pure with skies washed with rains for time unknown as waters flow with the memories of battles lost and won, with the passing moon life anew crawls from scares healed over sun's cycle of care the world breathes life free of civilizations good.
Day 24
Context: This was supposed to be a Ghazal poem for this prompt. But I was not understanding it, and giving I am already playing catch up I decided not to try and learn it. So, I just used to other parts of the prompt. I did decide to wrap it up with a haiku for some reason unknown. LOL And I seem to always write in three-line stanzas, not sure what's up with that. I seem to have weird poetry habits forming with no sense behind them. LOL
Prompt: Explore themes of love, loss, and longing.
Title: Somewhere we wait.
I know I love you…
or I will love you once I have found you
because I know you are somewhere and waiting in knowing like I am.
Months of loss
Years of longing
Decades of love.
I hold no faith of a god in my heart
only the faith of your existence in the world
prayers to be heard in your dreams as I hear yours in mine.
Even if death finds me before we find each other
I will go content and happy because you are there
somewhere.
In this world we wait
Your gentle breath in wind's touch
Whisper our love notes
Day 14
It wasn't my time to go,
I had so much left to grow.
A future planned, to see the land,
But fate played a different hand.
A single mistake, careless and swift,
My life was gone in a sudden drift.
Loved ones left to question why—
Too young, too soon, for me to die.
It feels like yesterday, yet years have flown,
Seasons passed, though I remain alone.
As dawn returns, I greet the sky,
But trapped here still, I wonder why.
The walls meant to hold me have crumbled away,
Returning to nature, no story to stay.
If I am forgotten, am I set free?
To pass to paradise, at peace I'll be.
Unfinished business now fades from view,
Nothing remains for me to do.
Goodbye, old haunt—I'll find the light,
As colors fade and all turns white.
Revision/little tweak/tweaking rounding out skeleton
Day 23
C.L.A.S
Finding Her Way Back Home
Winds spinning confusing seasons
enticing shadowed back roads
winding offbeat tracks
lacking guiding, grounding principles
My eyes
looking down puddles reflecting
foggy impression of what I should be
Holding tight
torrential flash downpour
spring last night
Summers burning hotter
perfect shade welcoming
reminiscing, laughter
Rich flamboyant erotic reds wanting to come
muted orange hues entice internal spice
yet, vibrant shocking mellowed yellow
soothe my overthinking mind
Full circle round
allowing us to cuddle tight
hibernate together all winter found.
Day 29
Prompt: Find an odd form, see what happens....
Context: I pretty much gave myself the list I found and about an hour to just write some things. For whatever reason, the Fibonacci poems captured my imagination for the moment - thematically they are all over the place - but in the middle of writing them I did have an idea of what to do with a random line I wrote weeks ago. Primarily for my own amusement I also threw in a Monostitch... and then a perhaps slightly less than "honest" try at an American Cinquan.
Some of the results are below - some are silly little poems, but not all of them, so I apologize for the thematic whiplash.
Poems:
Fibonacci Poems
Don't Cry
It’s
Now
The End.
I must go
But, please do not cry
We’ll see each other tomorrow
Destructive Doubt
I
Can’t.
(I lie.)
I’m afraid.
What if this all fails?
Better to not try it at all.
It Crawls
It
Crawls
The dark
Sharp teeth shine
Claws rip tender skin
No escape this time, I succumb
(Less Than) 7 (Not So) Dirty Words
Well
Dang!
Oh poop!
Fiddle sticks!
Oh fudge! And the rest
How creative we get sometimes.
Garden Ghouls
I
See
The Ghosts
Of neighbors -
Halloween draws near
This year their house looks amazing!
--
Monostich
Too Late
Well, damn.
--
American Cinquan
Grand Theft Poetry
I think
Therefore I am...
Definitely stole that
Don’t call the poetry police,
I’ll hide.
---
... whatever this is that came out of my brain.
As Luck Would Have It
The drunkard's walk and happenstance,
So much of life is all just chance,
But sometimes feels ‘twas fated so,
As if right here’s where all roads do go.
This poem now has come to its ends,
So, here’s to you my fortuitous friends.